Where am I going?

I went to enrichment tonight. I really enjoyed myself or maybe I just really enjoyed having adult conversation. I love my family, but somedays I just really need to be me; not somebody's mother or somebody's wife. To go somewhere and not have to clean up after my children or my husband. To be around people who appreciate me just for being me, and not for filling their sippy cup or doing their laundry. Most days I feel like I've lost me. I have now been categorized as a wife and mother. What happened to me, all of my hopes, my goals, my dreams, and my talents. I know once you have children that life isn't about you anymore, it is all about their needs, and I am totally fine with that. I love taking care of my babies. I also think it is important to take care of me, physically, spiritually and emotionally.
I want to find me again.
Physically, I am close to being on the right track. When I got pregnant with my son, I went a little overboard with food. I ate like 6 full meals a day. Outrageous, I know this now. Then I thought I was eating for two. Silly me, I was young and aloud to be nieve. I gained a crazy amount of weight and have been struggling with it for years now. I've wanted to lose weight forever, but never really had the courage to try. I'll go running for like two weeks and then I stop because it makes me sad that it is hard on my body now. I used to run everyday and loved it. Now I feel stupid when I'm out of breath so easily. So I recently lost twenty more pounds. I haven't been excersices, just watching what I eat. Cutting out soda completely and cutting my portions in half. But I finally hit a platue. I haven't lost anymore, so now the aweful running will have to come back in to play. Not looking forward to it, but seeing the difference twenty pounds has made, I really know I can do it. I need this, not only for me but for my kids as well. I find myself too tired to be able to do the things with them that I want to. I KNOW I CAN!
Spiritually, I want to be truely devoted. I have always had an extremely strong testimony of the truthfullness of the gospel. However, I am not knowledgeable of church history and the stories from the scriptures. To be honest, I was a rebel child. I made a lot of wrong choices in my youth. I was raised in the church, but I think with so many of the examples I had around me falling away from the church, it was hard for me to make good choices. I knew I wanted to choose the right, but in the end I wasn't. I was lost even then. But through it all, I always knew that this is where I belonged. I know I belong to this church, and my feelings have never changed. I recently made this goal, to start making my scripture study a priority in my life. It has never really been my thing, probably because I get "LOST in TRANSLATION", if you know what I mean. But I have been praying before each reading session, and it has truely made a differnce. I miraclulously understand what I am reading. I know look forward to reading them. I find my self so excited when my children finally fall asleep, so I can get all cozy in my quiet bedroom.
Emotionally, I just need to get them, my emotions, undercontrol. After having children I just seem so up and down. I think taking some time to focus on me is making a world of difference.
One day, I hope all will be in place, and my kinks be worked out and I will be stoked about where I am today. I am thrilled to know where I am going.